30 Second Shred.

This evening I tried the Level 1 workout of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for the first time. Almost immediately I was discouraged when the workout began with push ups. I barely squeaked out two (on my knees at that) before I was maxed. I failed to make it through the entire 30 second set of jumping jacks, and when "jumping rope" it was all I could do to bounce let alone have my feet leave the floor. Having only five pound weights, I discovered during several of the other exercises that I had to completely forgo using them, five pounds proving to be too much. During the lunging exercises, I was barely able to lower into a squat. To add insult to injury, I was reminded just how inflexible I am during the cool down. As embarrassing as it is to admit all of this, I am further shamed to reveal that I actually cried once the workout was over (and not out of joy or happiness). 

There is no other way to say this - I am completely disgusted with myself. I have let myself become a lazy, lethargic individual who does not want to exert even the tiniest amount of effort beyond what is absolutely necessary in any given day. How the hell did I let myself get THIS out of shape? More importantly, how do I get myself back on track?

One thing is clear - this is going to be a much longer, much more difficult journey than I had originally anticipated. I just need to remember that everything in life is a process and I will not be perfect at everything on the first, second, or even the hundredth try. It is okay to fail, as long as I keep getting up, dusting myself off, and trying again. As frustrating as the slow progress may seem, taking baby steps to reach my goals is better than taking no steps at all.      

A Case of the Mondays.

Today, I definitely had a case of the Mondays.

1. I turned my alarm off in my sleep, waking up an hour after my alarm had been set to go off.
2. After already running late for work due to the alarm fiasco, my cat Gabriel had yet another hairball, which I then had to stop getting ready for work to clean up.
3. Feeling guilty about the hairball and despite the fact I brush Gabriel regularly, I made myself even more late by spending several minutes grooming Gabriel in the hopes that I wouldn't arrive home from work this evening to more hairballs (we shall see - I'm not holding my breath on this one).
4. While getting in my car so I could finally be on my way to work, I knocked over my mug in the center console cup holder, spilling orange juice all over the passenger seat.
   
5. I found out the house I had my heart set on buying (it is down the street from my sister and her family, and would have been absolutely perfect for me) has been sold, which greatly dampens my enthusiasm towards buying a house.
6. Late last week my co-worker and I ate lunch at Pizza Hut, where I decided I was in the mood for a stuffed crust pizza (which only comes in large, by the way). After working all weekend and forgetting to take the leftover pizza home, I sat the pizza box by my computer this afternoon so I would surely not once again forget it. Naturally, as I was driving to my second job, I realized I left the pizza sitting on my desk - and am now without dinner for the evening.

All trivial things, I know (except for the house thing - I really am upset about that), but it just doesn't make for a good start to the week. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.