30 Second Shred.

This evening I tried the Level 1 workout of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for the first time. Almost immediately I was discouraged when the workout began with push ups. I barely squeaked out two (on my knees at that) before I was maxed. I failed to make it through the entire 30 second set of jumping jacks, and when "jumping rope" it was all I could do to bounce let alone have my feet leave the floor. Having only five pound weights, I discovered during several of the other exercises that I had to completely forgo using them, five pounds proving to be too much. During the lunging exercises, I was barely able to lower into a squat. To add insult to injury, I was reminded just how inflexible I am during the cool down. As embarrassing as it is to admit all of this, I am further shamed to reveal that I actually cried once the workout was over (and not out of joy or happiness). 

There is no other way to say this - I am completely disgusted with myself. I have let myself become a lazy, lethargic individual who does not want to exert even the tiniest amount of effort beyond what is absolutely necessary in any given day. How the hell did I let myself get THIS out of shape? More importantly, how do I get myself back on track?

One thing is clear - this is going to be a much longer, much more difficult journey than I had originally anticipated. I just need to remember that everything in life is a process and I will not be perfect at everything on the first, second, or even the hundredth try. It is okay to fail, as long as I keep getting up, dusting myself off, and trying again. As frustrating as the slow progress may seem, taking baby steps to reach my goals is better than taking no steps at all.