A late Christmas wish.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1, ESV

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I read the following through Clever Girl Goes Blog.

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"My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did."

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To go, or not to go....

Recently I was invited to a New Year's Eve party through Facebook by an acquaintance from college, whom I will refer to as Double H. I was both surprised and flattered by the invitation, seeing as how I have not spoken to him in over six years (and before you ask, no, he did not merely invite everyone on his friend list). While it could be fun to go to the party, let's face it - I am not nor have I ever been socially savvy. I am more than a bit nervous about showing up to a party by myself where I know a single person that will be in attendance, and barely at that. To make matters slightly worse, I noticed today that one of the invitees is a guy I winked at on match.com, whose response was "thanks for the wink, but I don't think you are a good match for me." Thank goodness he is currently listed as not attending the party, as I can only imagine how awkward it would be to run into him should he recognize me! (I shudder at the thought.)

All possible and likely embarrassing catastrophes aside, attending the party could result in several positive scenarios. First and foremost, I would be venturing outside of my comfort zone, which I feel is important for me to do if I am going to continue to grow as an individual. I mean, I could actually have fun! Not only that, but it would provide the potential to cross off the following two items from my 30 Before 30 List:

27. Hold a conversation with a stranger.
30. Make a new friend (one not connected to someone I already know).

Knowing I will most certainly chicken out at the last minute if I plan to go by myself, I have thought about emailing Double H and simply being honest about my apprehensions, and asking if he or anyone else would like to meet up before the party and arrive together. Would this be completely and totally lame? Another option would be there is an Indiana Ice hockey game that evening, so I could ask Double H if he or anyone else would want to catch the game before heading to the party. What do ya'all think? What would you do if you were me?